You Know You've Played Too Much Alice When
by KuroixHitsuji
Summary: A list of things that happen when you're obsessed. Contains items from both American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns. CONTAINS SPOILERS. Rated T for language.


You Know You've Played Too Much Alice When…

- Yuurei Kiryuu

A/N: Hey, guys! So, megavideo's being a bitch. I hate the whole "you have watch videos for x amount of minutes, you may resume content at x amount of hours" bullcrap, so while waiting to finish watching Danny Phantom, I made this. CONTAINS SPOILERS! Material from both _American McGee's Alice_ and _Alice: Madness Returns_ are used here, and I do now own either of them. If you have any more ideas for things obsessed fans would do, post them in the Reviews section and I will add them and put your username next to it and give you full credits. Please R&R, I wanna seehow I did with this. Thanks!

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><p>You know you've played too much <em>Alice<em> when...

1. You take a pepper grinder outside and try to shoot birds with it.

2. You never play with cards or dice again because the cards will cut you and the dice will summon demons from Hell after you.

3. Every time you find a key, you remember something.

4. You jump off of a building, thinking that your twirl will take you to the next rooftop and if you die, you'll return to the edge by teleportation.

5. You grab the biggest cutting knife in your kitchen and swish it around, trying to see if it glows pretty colors when it moves.

6. You start following around anything white and fluffy.

7. When you're not feeling good, you turn ghostly pale, lose all of your hair, and go colorblind with the exception of extremely saturated reds.

8. You mutilate all of your kid sister's baby dolls because you think they're evil.

9. Everyone is telling you that you should start hooking.

10. You jump into a pool and stay under for an hour thinking you can breathe underwater just because you're wearing a siren dress.

11. You start collecting teeth and using it as money for the grocery store.

12. You start breaking things to see if there's a keyhole behind it.

13. Everytime you get into trouble, you tell them the cat told you to do it.

14. You have an iTunes playlist dedicated to the soundtracks from both games.

15. You take the advice from the Cheshire Cat and try to apply it to real life.

16. When the door's lock, you claim you need the Jabberwock's Eyestaff to open it.

17. When someone important dies, you convince your little brother to turn into that person and take his/her place.

18. The next time you go to the grocery, you run off looking for pig snouts. (Don't forget that pepper grinder we discussed earlier!)

19. You put all your faith into a psychiatrist.

20. You never look at old ladies the same ever again.

21. You start thinking that all trains come from Hell.

22. You convince yourself that the other half of your psyche is a rotted-flesh-tentacle being that looks like you when you were younger.

23. You think vents that blast out scolding hot steam will get you to higher places.

24. Everywhere you go, you change clothes corresponding to that location.

25. You think that if you walk off the face of earth, invisible platforms will rescue you.

26. You think you'll die if you land in the water.

27. You begin sliding down anything that's slanted downwards.

28. When it's dark, you think the Heart of Darkness is trying to kill you.

29. You grow an intense fear of Lavafish (first game) and Ice Snarks (second game).

30. Invisible men throw bombs at you.

31. You keep a kitchen knife, a pepper grinder, a fake-horse-stick-thing, and a teapot in your closet in case burglars invade your house.

32. You can jump 6-10 feet in the air.

33. You jump on a mushroom to see if it's a trampoline.

34. Nothing in both games actually scare you. (Yeah, that's me…I got a strong stomach and mind.)

35. You take an umbrella in gym class so you can deflect dodgeballs thrown at you.

36. Your stuffed animals begin talking to you.

37. Everytime you black out, you either end up from a rooftop to the docks, from a burning bar to a carriage, from a lawyer's house to a jail cell, from the streets to an asylum, or from the middle of nowhere to a train station.

38. You start spelling school as "skool" and pretend everyone in there is a twitchy, insane, creepy looking wreck.

39. You ask a reanimated lawn ornament to make you a shrinking potion.

40. You start stomping all of your playing cards because you're bigger than them and you can.

41. You try changing into a chess piece to get past the checkerboard tiles in your kitchen.

42. When you're being bullied, you throw a bunch of jacks at them and pray they hit their mark.

43. Everytime you see a red spray bottle of ANYTHING, you become enraged.

44. You insist on comparing every one you hate to a typhoon.

45. You buy a hookah so it can turn you into the size of an ant.

46. Every time you see a bottle, you pick it up and scream "WHAT THE HELL IS IT FOR?"

47. When you turn a valve, you expect Hell to freeze over.

48. Going into burning houses and doors is actually a GOOD thing.

49. When you need help, you seek your cat for guidance.

50. You are convinced that every old, pompous woman wearing a huge hat is out to eat you.

51. You look inside a ship-in-a-bottle to see if you can find the Mock Turtle.

52. When you enter a new place, you try to find a secret room and see if there's a vial of red paint inside.

53. You start gathering oysters for the show.

54. You start blaming your psychiatrist for raping and murdering your older sister, even if you don't have one.

55. You actually attempt any of the weird shit on this list.

56. You make up for the fact that you subconsciously know how your sister died by placing her head on the body of the enemy. - _fairfarrenlovelylydia _

57. You friends can change from bad to helpful depending on what year you were in. - _fairfarrenlovelylydia _

58. You break glasses, tiny houses, pens, syringes, glass bottles, and peacock feathers to see if you'll remember something. - _The Pocketwatch Ripper _

59. Everytime you see a pair of twin brothers you quickly run away screaming bloody murder in fear of getting a lobotomy. - _goombablood_

scream at everyone "I only take tea with friends!" regardless of the fact that they may be your friend. _- ShadowForceSilver_

61. You cosplay/dress up/act as Alice, evn though just about no-one has a freakin' clue what you're on about! XD _- ShadowForceSilver_

62. You insult the "pretty" Disney movie and moan,"Why can't it be American Mcgee's movie?" _- ShadowForceSilver_

63. Every time you see a wasp, you go to grab the nearest knife. _- My Deadly Premonition_

64. You start pissing off your friends because you start to talk like the Cheshire Cat and never get to the point. - _XxXBuri-ChanXxX_

65. You curse other games for not having double and triple jump. _- rultas_

66. You start quoting the Doormouse: "A good worker is a live worker...A bad worker is a dead worker...Payday for good workers has been temporarily postponed. Payday for bad workers has been CANCELLED! _- rultas_

66. You start quoting from the loading screen. "Ignorance is bliss, when it's not fatal." _- rultas_

67. You start laughing hysterically for no reason. _- AngeLMeerkat2_

68. When your younger sibling(s) and/or cousin(s) annoy you you yell off with their heads or something like it. _- AngeLMeerkat2_

69. You look in the woods for rabbit holes big enough to fall down into. _- AngeLMeerkat2_

70. You push your psychiatrist into an oncoming train after puuting on a new outfit. _- Blades252_

71. You can't imagine Alice as blonde. _- ClankANDReaverLOVA_

72. You find teeth in cake. _- ClankANDReaverLOVA_

73. You start collecting red roses. _- ClankANDReaverLOVA_

74. You make sure your teapot hasn't got an eye. _- ClankANDReaverLOVA_

75. You scream and cry when you see a lady bug over your head. _- SoulReaper113_

76. Anytime you see ANYONE in a top hat you automatically distrust them and make sarcastic remarks about their missing body parts. _- XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX_

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><p><strong>EDIT:: (88/2011) Man, you guys are good! Sorry about the wait, it was my fault. Busy and stuff, and lack of motivation, but I got the latest ones up there. Thank you guys so much for the comments and favorites, maybe because I'm bored, I'll make up a new list for another game or anime or something that I like, so subscribe to get Story Alerts/Author Alerts and keep commenting! Any KH fans out there, I just uploaded a songfic with Axel in honor of Axel Day. HAPPY AXEL DAY! It's based off of a fanfiction I'm collaborating with a fan and we hope to get it done soon, so check it out! Now I'm going to actually create my profile on this thing...see ya!**

EDIT:: thanks for the ideas, guys! keep them coming!

I hope you guys enjoyed it! Remember, if you have more funny, witty obsessed tasks, type them in the Review section and I will add them and give you full credit. Thanks so much, and if this gets a good response, I may do others with different games/cartoons/anime/etc. I will take requests, but only if I know what anime/game/etc. you are asking for, and my knowledge is very limited. Thanks!


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